or “let me know if you need anything” are two of the most challenging statements a person with stress can receive. I don’t intend to criticize if you have sent either of those statements to someone going through something, however, I’d like to offer perspective. When your brain is overloaded with new medical terms and procedures, doctor names and “when was the last time I slept”; answering “how can I help” can feel like hell on earth. I get it, you feel helpless. You know that empathy isn’t going to solve their worries and needs, but if there was only some way you could help…

The hospital takes phenomenal care of your child, and they do their best with parents, but they are in the biz of healing kids! So, while the pros offer all the comfort and support for the kiddo, here are thirteen ways you can support a parent whose child is in the hospital.

*This list applies to any care giver of any person in the hospital, not necessarily limited to children*

1. Learn about the parking situation at the hospital and see if you can buy a gift card, OR $20 cash for parking. At Connecticut Children’s all families have to pay for parking (I know) and there were some days I was scraping together coins from inside the car to make it out of the electronic gate. CCMC also offers a weeklong parking pass; purchasing that for your friend will take a lot of logistical stress off them.

2. You can’t ever go wrong with coffee and tea (even if it’s decaf) It’s not over done, overused or over gifted. Having a Starbucks or Dunkin’ balance available for the moments in which you can step away for a coffee was priceless.

3. Speaking of this, you can offer “sitting time”. A lot of people (me included) will push back on this one, however, every parent that has a child inside the walls of the hospital needs fresh air. The windows do not open and there is no way in hell they will leave their child. Parents of kids in the hospital are tough and resilient but even plants need outdoor light and water. They might consider taking that break if you are there to sit in the room with the kiddo.  

4. Door dash, grub hub or uber eats gift card (all options are generally better than hospital food)

5. Socks, pajamas, comfy blanket that rolls up nicely

6. Set up a meal train for one week – even if that starts while the family is still in the hospital, there will be meals for mom and dad to wrap up and bring with them and food to feed the siblings at home.

7. Busy time gifts for the adults: coloring, fidgets, gel pens for coloring, blank journal for notes or journaling, a simple card game (think Uno).

8. A travel neck pillow. Even if they have one, another one will be a great addition.

9. Gift basket, flowers, or fruit arrangement for the nurses & medical staff on the floor. So often families wish they could do more for the medial providers; you could offer to handle this for them.

10. Handle a task for their “outside-of-the-hospital” life: walking the family pet, grocery shop for essentials, a couple loads of laundry (even if it’s just towels), addressing thank you envelopes, dropping mail off to them and for them.

11. Cell phone accessories, especially a charger.

12. A case of water or a few bottles.

13. A reusable cup. Nowadays most people have one of these, however, if your friend’s child was hospitalized unexpectedly, they may not have had the time to prep and pack accordingly.